


hands tell our stories better than our mouths ever could

by skitty_titty



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Genre: M/M, read note for warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 22:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15301278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skitty_titty/pseuds/skitty_titty
Summary: in the aftermath, when he's no longer needed, link struggles in his search for peace.





	hands tell our stories better than our mouths ever could

**Author's Note:**

> warnings:   
>  -loss of a friend/extreme loneliness   
>  -hinted at panic attacks   
>  -alcohol ment.
> 
> art for this story has been made! & it can be found [here](https://www.deviantart.com/shadlink64/art/Link-can-t-resist-the-cute-nerd-797290245?ga_submit_new=10%3A1557604983)! thank you so much, @shadlink64 (on both ao3 + deviantart). this means the WORLD to me !!

it’s cold on the day link kills ganondorf.

it’s cold, as he’s on the field that stretches, though they seem to move around in circles, wondering who’s to make the first move. it’s cold, as link holds a sword in front of him and wields a shield in the other - his hands shake when he’s nervous, or shy, or scared - and rarely, when he's excited -, but never during battle (he forgets how long it took him to train to be like that). it is cold, as the enemy draws a sword back and thrusts it into his stomach, throwing him onto the floor.

he wins, though, despite his hate for the weather.

he’s in ordon village, with plenty of supplies from the castle as thanks. he sees this, sees the gratitude in the princess’ eyes as she bestows these gifts upon him but link is disappointed, nonetheless. there was no recognition; so much for childhood friends.

but that’s not that main thing that's really bothering him. midna has been missing since he freed the land from twilight. at first, for about a week, he put it up to her wanting to spend time with her people, as queen and all.as time advanced - as a week became a month, a month becoming two - he knew she wasn’t coming back. she left without even a goodbye, or a thank you, or a we-had-some-good-times-together speech, and it hurt.

so link wastes time in ordon village, rereading the same boring books or jumping the same four fences over and over, until he knows that epona can’t handle anymore. he spends hours after that sat in the spring, with fairies fluttering past him, occasionally landing on him but never staying long.

ilia visits him sometimes, and seems to be the only one who even starts to understand how he’s feeling. they don’t share the same trauma and their experiences are much, much different, but they both know how to listen; both know each other’s comforts.

ilia likes being held as she talks about how scared she was, how angry she was at herself for forgetting, how worried she was about that poor zora boy. she’s relieved when link tells her about how he’s happy now, with his people, mourning but continuing on.

link doesn’t talk about what happens as much - in fact, he never does. he never talks anymore, only with his hands.

ilia understands.

it’s spring now - almost a full year has passed. the cherry blossom trees dance around the hot spring and, while It is not visible, link feels ordona watching the scene in front of It.

ilia and link are sat in the waters, with link propping himself up on his arms and ilia cuddled against his side. they’re close now, a lot closer than before; like siblings. link finds himself to be comfortable with her, or as comfortable he can get.

“it’s cold today, isn’t it?” ilia says, a rhetorical question - it’s always cold for link now. link nods as his reply anyways. “i was thinking of visiting kakariko village. or maybe castle town, to see telma. i know that you and shad always got along well.”

link thinks about if for a moment. he knows he should get out of the village more, though it always felt too lonely when he tried to by himself; he’s never gone alone, and going would be admitting that something is wrong.

_‘when are you thinking?’_ he asks instead. it’s not a yes or a no, but ilia takes it, for the time being.

“the day after tomorrow.” she says. it’s sudden, closer than link had thought. his hands start to shake, which had become more of a problem, now that he uses them to talk; it’s like a physical stutter, but ilia is used to it. “we don’t have too, if it’s too soon.”

_‘we’ll see’,_ he replies. _‘we’ll see.’_

ilia smiles against him.

 

* * *

 

two days after their talk in the spring, link is climbing on epona’s back, and ilia is saddled behind him. a wooden sword is strapped to his back, his original sword, along with the ordon shield - link had always liked the ram crest that was carved into it.

“are you ready to go?” rusl asks, hints of worry edging at his tone. link nods, as does ilia. “there’s not as many monsters around anymore, you know-” rusl adds, glancing at the floor- “you’ll be fine.”

_‘we’ll be back soon’._

“and we’ll send you a letter when we arrive!”

“i’m sure you will.” rusl steps back, and link urges epona into a walk. “may the goddess be with you.”

_‘you too’._

they wave quickly, before epona starts to trot; they’re quickly out of ordon and into the faron province. faron is emptier than before, with wildlife taking up much more space now that the monsters have somewhat departed. the song the birds sing is happy, and link finds his spirits rising.

they arrive at the hyrule field quite quickly, too, only stopping once to wish coro a good day as they passed; link wonders how he lives out here alone, never leaving to visit anyone. he supposes that nature is coro’s true friend, and continues on his way.

more monsters appear now, and epona canters past them. ilia grips at his waist tighter, occasionally glancing behind them, but link stares forward, bow against his knee as a just-in-case.

at the end of it, link only had to let two arrows fly and no one had sustained any damage. still, when they arrive at kakariko village, ilia takes epona to the spring while link books a room in the hotel. no one comments on his still-shaking hands.

it’s expensive, but they get a discount, as friends of renado’s.

“hello, link.” he says, voice as soft and deep and relaxing as link remembers it to be; a voice of a parent, comforting and calm. “you should have told us you were here to stay.”

link smiles, if a bit sheepishly, and signs, _‘i only knew two days ago. i doubt the letter would have arrived by then.’_

“but the postman… he can run quite fast when he wants to.”

_‘true, true.’_

the conversation dies; renado strikes up a new one. “so why did you decide to come?”

_‘ilia and i wanted a break. maybe to see some friends. we’re thinking of visiting castle town next.’_

“to see shad?” renaldo cuts in, laughing when link blushes. “you should have told us you were staying. i’m afraid the man just left.”

_‘that’s not why we’re here’,_ link says, looking down at his feet.

“of course.” renado says, and he sounds like he doesn’t believe him. “just here to visit some old friends.” his tone is teasing, but link knows it’s a fight he can’t win, so he just huffs.

_‘which room is ours, then?’_

“the first to the left.”

_‘thank you.’_

link takes his bags upstairs, opening his room and dumping it on the bed. the village is quiet, though it always is. the only time it’s ever loud is when the gorons all visit, and that only happens on certain days of the year - “holidays”, hylians call them; “good times to get drunk and party”, the gorons say.

so the village is quiet, which should be soothing and calming for the nerves, knowing that nothing is coming, but link’s senses are tingling and his gut aches. he knows there’s nothing, there never is, but his brain can’t seem to exit combat mode.

he sighs into his hands - one of the only sounds he makes anymore.

he’d feel better with midna here, for she was the one who watched over him when he couldn’t do it himself. she’d whisper into his ear about the number of enemies, and what they were, and which direction they’re coming from, and she’d scream when she thought one had managed to _finally_ kill him (she denies it afterwards - of course, she couldn’t ever show she had actually grown fond of the boy).

he misses her, and his body aches, his mind aches, his _soul_ aches. he wants to go home, but he already has (he wonders whether he even has a home anymore, after she’s left).

he feels his hands start to shake more and more, so much so that his words would be unintelligible. he stares down at them, wondering what he can do, and then there’s a hand on his shoulder.

he jumps, lets out a sharp gasp of air, but doesn’t turn.

the hand is soft on his shoulder, and it slides up to his neck and starts playing with his hair - a gesture that was once comforting.

“hello,” ilia greets. “epona’s washed. she’s grazing in the kakariko gorge, if you need her-” link won’t need her; he doesn’t even think he can go anywhere yet, not for a long while- “i’m going up to the hot spring, if you want to join. i think it’d just be us and another goron.”

she sounds hopeful, almost as if she’s begging, but link can’t. he doesn’t think he would even be able to force himself.

he shakes his head, only slightly. she drops her hand, leaving the back of his neck feeling strangely empty; he feels the disappointment radiating off her.

“okay, then.” it’s said with a clear smile, though it’s wavering and teary, but she doesn’t say anything (later, she’ll realise she’s happy with his progress, happy that he even managed to leave, but she’ll be selfish for just a bit longer). “i’ll see you later.” it’s stated, though it’s really a question.

link nods again, and there’s a sound of footsteps and a door closing, softly.

link can’t help but think there’s something wrong with him (it’s because half of him is missing, but he refuses to accept it; he can’t handle more pain).

 

* * *

 

eldin’s spring is different to ordona’s, in a way that’s indescribable.

it looks different, of course, and there’s somehow a treasure chest hidden in the bottom of it. link wonders whether that’s a symbol of luck, but as he’s sat there, with the weight of the world weighing down on him, he thinks it can’t be.

he stares at the village as the sun sets, sees people head inside and quickly light the candles, sees gorons come down from their mountain, carrying produce on their back.

everything looks rather pretty; but, then again, it always did, at the hour of twilight.

he wonders whether midna thinks about him. whether he was a home to her, as much as she was to him. whether she deserted him after he had been used, even though she promised not.

_she lied to me_ , he thinks, with a plain expression but a hurting heart. _she lied._

he feels so alone in the vast world, but he thinks back to the little feelings of happiness he’s felt along the way.

he promised himself that everything will be okay, even if he doesn’t believe it - sometimes you need to, just to get through.

 

* * *

 

link goes the castle town by himself, and hates himself for it. ilia said she wasn’t quite ready to go yet, and had found herself frequenting the library there, and link isn’t cruel enough to drag her away from something that grounds her. so he goes alone.

the ride is silent, aside from the hooves hitting the ground. he barely feels himself breathe, and he feels weaker and weaker the further he gets. when he arrives, he slinks off into a quiet alleyway, and epona watches with worried eyes as he walks further and further away.

it’s busy there, a lot busier than he realised as most of his visits had been during the early hours of the morning or after the sun had fallen. he remains in the alleyway, quietly weaving through the town, though he can hear the chatter from a mile away, until he reaches telma’s bar. it’s two in the afternoon, so no one is really there to drink away their sorrows.

telma greets him happily, with a large hug that takes his feet off the floor. she sets him down again quickly, though; lets him sit quietly in the corner. he likes the town but the energy is too much for him at the moment, especially since he’s alone there.

he settles in quickly, though. gets used to the bustling crowds and the guards rushing past him suddenly, armour clinking as their boots hit the floor melodically. he likes petting the dogs that walk up to him with their eager, slobbering smiles, dropping a bone at his feet. he likes the cats that he spends hours with, that rub against his leg and purr in appreciation. honestly, he likes the pets more than the people, but he always was an animal person.

then, it’s two years later, and link now lives in the house opposite the doctors’, where a guard is positioned near the gate. every time he leaves his house, he greets the guard who, in return, likes to gossip - about his work, his friends, or both at the same time. link wonders where aike ever did ask out ardon, and makes a note to ask later.

he sees the doctor rarely, which he’s thankful for. he creeped link out, with his strange smells and stranger glasses that didn’t seem to help his awful sight. he _does_ see the dog who lingers outside the doctor’s house, though, and always stops to pet her. she follows him everywhere, with a bone hanging from her jaws. she’s a new regular at telma’s.

link visits the bar as often as he can, usually spending a few hours of an evening there, daily. it’s always got people in it, but it’s busiest from midnight to early morning; everyone goes home after that, or prepares before it.

link visits when it’s calm. he doesn’t think he’s quite ready for all that alcohol yet.

telma is the only one in the bar when link enters, with laike - the name he deemed fitting for the dog at his feet - by his side. the postman, as always, in the corner, but link fears him brought to not ask whether he’s okay again (last time had gotten him a letter in the face; whether by accident or on purpose, link would never know).

“hello, honey.” telma greets, voice warm and comforting as always. “here for a drink? a chat?”

_'i’ll take both.'_ link replies, pulling out a chair at the bar, before lifting laike onto it and pulling out his own stool.

“the usual?”

_'please.'_

a glass of water is slid across the wooden table, creating a harsh scratching sound. it is accompanied by a chuckle; it may be targeted at the green and yellow colours that dance across the cocktail umbrella that has been placed in his drink, or at the fact he has come to a bar to drink water - something that never fails to make either of them laugh.

“what brings you here then, honey?” she asks, and she leans forward, resting her arms in front of him. they’re quite close, but not close enough to feel each other’s breath, and definitely not close enough for their noses to be touching. there’s a good distance between them.

it’s funny, because link feels like closing that distance and strangling her when she says, “looking for shad?” with a wink that makes him feel the deepest despair.

_'you say this every time.'_ he signs. _'i’m not looking for shad!'_

“who’s looking for me?” shad asks. links head slumps on the bar.

"link is."telma supplies helpfully, a large grin on her face.

_'ashlei is my new favourite.'_ link mouths to himself, but no one sees it. when he looks up again, he almost wishes he hadn’t when he sees shad; he’s not wearing anything out of the usual - a shirt as always, a nice pair of pants as always, his black, square-framed glasses as always - and yet, he manages to look cute and beautiful, and a whole load of synonyms that link can’t think of right now.

link tells himself that appreciation of your friends is normal, and is good to have in a relationship. a tiny part of his brain calls him out of bullshit. he, obviously, ignores it.

“what did you need, boy?” shad asks, and he slides his glasses up a little, something he does when he’s curious or confused. link feels his soul die a little.

he fights to find an excuse. what does shad like? - the desert. so that’s where link’s mind heads. what questions has he ever had about the desert? he’s not quick enough and shad starts to look at him, growing more confused as every second of silence stretches on, and then, suddenly:

_'aha!'_ link mouths, sitting up excitedly before slumping again as he was. shad seems slightly shocked by the outburst but doesn’t comment on it, puts it down to enthusiasm. _'those plant thing-ies that float! they’re good for grappling! how do they survive when they don’t touch the ground? there’s no way for them to get water!'_

he hears telma make a sound. whether it’s a laugh or a sigh, or both, we will never know.

shad, however, ignores her completely. his eyes have lit up suddenly, and link feels regret. remorse. who was he before this day? he doesn’t know. but he doesn’t understand that he really kind of needs to, like, kiss shad but platonically as bros because link has never had feelings for someone and never will have feelings because he doesn’t have time and he’s busy and everyone else is busy and—

and he’s unexplainably, dramatically, incredibly scared; and boy, he has not felt this kind of fear in a while.

he listens intently when shad speaks; so much so that he doesn’t notice ashlei come in and order something strong (anything to warm you up, right?), and he misses rusl arriving, holding something that seems to be a letter. the postman eyes it curiously from his crouched position in the corner.

shad answers the question with his hands, his voice, and seven “quick sketches” that look like artwork worthy of being framed and passed down as a family heirloom. link wants it plastered onto his skin, somewhere everyone can see it.

it’s getting later again, and more people are coming in. link does notice as the chatter gets thicker, albeit only as he has to sign for shad to repeat himself multiple times. shad suggests they leave, and link agrees; he wants to hear more about plants and how they’ve adapted to limit water supplies, shut up telma it’s not funny.

before link can leave, rusl pulls him aside quickly; hands him the letter, and explains that it is from colin. link is reminded of how much he sometimes misses his home; and how much he misses epona, too, even if he spends time with her constantly. trotting around hyrule field, though, will never be the same as jumping fences after you’ve hearded fado’s goats.

link thanks rusl, and then they’re off.

 

* * *

 

_'wait, where are we going?'_ link signs as shad drags him from the castle. the sun is setting but hyrule is now patrolled well now that the twilight has gone.

“you’ll see.” shad replies, a small smile on his face. “you’ll like it, i promise.”

when they arrive, it is on a small hill. the grass is soft as they sit down, and the sky is bright. shad has brought some of his books, the ones he draws in, along with piles of notes. while link seems to be the type who wouldn’t care, he’s quite easily excited by this, and ready to listen for hours and hours.

only when shad is halfway through and link has stopped nodding, instead just smiling and staring, he puts everything down and stares back. link realises he’s fallen silent quickly enough, and asks the question through his eyes.

there are a few moments of silence before shad replies: “do you get sick of me talking to you?”

it’s filled with doubt and fear, and link can’t help but shake his head quickly.

“i guess it’s my own fear that i’m seeing, then, boy.” he says, and looks down at his crossed knees. “lots of people say i talk to much.”, he continues, and it breaks link’s heart.

_'you don’t.'_ he signs. _'you never could._ i _love to listen.'_

that makes shad smile again.

_'you’ve saved my life before, you know.'_ link signs, and shad looks up with wide eyes, as if the thought of link dying was the scariest thing he’s heard. _'i was alone - well, i wasn’t but she didn’t know either. i was hungry and i remembered what you said about berries. i’m alive because i listened to you.'_

shad nods, both a ‘thank you’ and a ‘you’re welcome’ at the same time; doesn't ask who 'she' was. they sit back in silence, the books laying forgotten at their feet, the sky still blinking, watching with stars for eyes.

and maybe it’s not official, but their relationship doesn’t need to be when there’s moments like this; times of bliss and times of peace, and everything in between. there’s arguments, though there’s few, and then there’s hugs that last longer than necessary. what else do they need when they have each other?


End file.
